HEY LOOK! A TITLE!

Well, my fellow fucktards and fuckheads.  I've joined DeviantArt to put my writings up!  Yes, isn't it nice.  Hurrah, be over jubliant.

My brother is moving to Melbourne, Florida today!  Which is nice, considering the fact that my dad lives there so my dad can atleast have one of his children back.  Although Michael is the sucky one out of the two of us.  ^_^

Well, Mattykins, you're an ass.  ^_^  That's all I have to say there.

Zach and I are still doing just as lovely as before.  I'd post about it, but I'm doing something on Photoshop that I'd really like to get back to!  BUT!  He is still the main thing I talk about.  Of course!!

Oh, my lovely trustee Kelly broke up with her boyfriend for The Green Haired Kid aka some guy named Jeff that I haven't met yet.  He sounds really awesome.  I'm happy that Kelly actually got out of the relationship with Kevin and moved on to someone new.  Kevin was a bit mentally abusive....

SO!  That's all I shall post for today, you numbskulls!

Well.  If there is a higher power.  I would like to thank them.  If there's not...

I just got lucky in that case!!  ^_^

Zach is..  I don't know!  Every little thing about him is just...   AHH!

He's like me in a lot of ways.  We hate it when our friends do stupid things and when they're about to, we'll tell them not to and then make up lame excuses why.  We get annoyed to high hell when people get in our way of the TV[Who doesn't?].  We make fun of each other about everything.  We have the same choice in music.  Same choice in anime.

I could list more, but I am tired as hell.  So, I'm off to bed!  I love you guys!

Well, I'm with Zach now.  I'm actually really happy.  I'm glad that I'm happy.  Everyone tells me that I 'glow' when I talk about him.  I've made a really good friend over the time being, this girl Lauren.  Not the one living at my house, but a different one.  She's so amazing.  And she told me that she's never sat there and actually felt happy for any couple or anything like that.  Like, she would tell them she was and would tell them that they were cute.  But then she told me that she really was happy for me.  She loved how I am towards Zach and my reactions towards him.  She said she could feel the love, the viiibes.  I laughed, she's cute.  I never really noticed that I glow or any of that.  But I just love talking about him.  And when I hear his name, I smile.  I can't help it.  He's just...  I have no words for him.  I'm at a loss.  I can make pages about any other boy.  But Zach?  There's just TOO much, yet not enough words.  I trust him with everything.  And I don't make assumptions with him.  I just kinda.. Know.  Like he doesn't call me that much but I know it's because he hates phones.  He won't walk up to me and just kiss me because he's too shy.  It took him almost a week just for the first kiss.  We haven't made out or anything.  I don't know if he's ever done that.  How I know that one is because we've attempted once or twice.  He goes about it a bit wrong but I know where he messes up and if I can get him alone, away from everyone, then I'll guide him through it.  But I don't want to sit there and do it in front of everyone.  Lauren[The one living with me] told me last night that she can definitely see me hitting a year with him.  I can too.  I just see it happening.  I'm not interested in anyone else, only him.  I wake up thinking about him and I fall asleep thinking about him.  I make crappy ass pictures on MS Paint for him and post them on my myspace.[Okay, I only did that once.  And that was last night at 1 in the morning when I was tired as hell.]  I just don't want anything to ruin this.  I actually want respect over this relationship.  Where as with Frank, I gave some respect towards the relationship and I wasn't really trying to hold on to it too much.  But with this one, even if it is completely unnecessary, I'm going to hold on to it tightly.

So, Xanga is telling me that because I've been a member for 252 days that I should become a PREMIUM MEMBER!!!

Dun dun duuuunununununununnnununun.......dun?

Dumb?

Yes.

Stupid xanga.

Back to more important things!  That don't involve boys for once.  Well the end of this post will, but for now I'll be going over someone... who could be a boy?  No, I'm pretty sure she's not.  She's my blonde starving bombshell hobo of a friend LAUREN!  And she's going to be living at my house for two weeks due to the lack-of-fatherly-skills father she has.  Yes.  Asshat.  That's what he is.  But I will not go on any further.  I have saved her from her cardboard box and the Laundromat of.... Wheel of Fortune, Galaga, and Deer Hunt II.  That place was actually pretty cool.  I killed a couple of deer, elks, ducks, and doves.  And children.  Foreign poor children.  Yess.  But anyway.  I also shot these multi-colored bee looking ships and screamed Nashville, Tennessee.  Oh yeah!  So, Lauren is going to be my roomie for two weeks!  OH JOY!  I love her though.  Her and her smelly feet of wonders.

NOW TO THE BOY PART OF MY LIFE!

I like this kid named Zach.  BRILLIANT fucking artist.  Amazing.  Simply amazing.  I went through his art book from like 2002 and I laughed so hard because if you look at his shit from then and you look at it now, it's like comparing a third graders work to like...  Dali.  Except Zach is crazier kinda.  And he's adorable.  And he gave me the Lion King VHS because my mommy gave my copy to my auntie a while ago.  The hoe.  I love her though.  But good thing about him, is I might have a chance!  He's single!

And I've written a page on my lovely Matt.  I just sat down and started writing.  Within 10 minutes I had a page.  Kudos?  Yes.

That's all for now.  I have to go do laundry, clean my room, clean out drawers, and let Lauren in.  She was doing Spring Cleaning in her box.

I have admitted defeat with Paul K.  It's not something I'd normally do.  But I'm also not going to fight for someone who's had a girlfriend for almost two years and seems happy with her.

So, instead I find myself a new relationship to throw myself into.  It's not the best by far and it might not last long either.  And it's just a relationship.  We're together but we're not going out.  I'd explain it but there's too much to explain.  No one really knows that we're together.  In fact, everyone still is like, "Oh, why aren't you with the Girl yet?  You know she wants you."  He's lovely, yes.  He makes me laugh a lot.  I'm happy with him, I'm probably always going to be.  But this is just one of those relationships that are good to have.  Something to make you feel better.  Which is what I desperately need at the moment with how things are lately.  He's not that great looking, but honestly.  I really don't care.  When we're in school and putting on a "show" for everyone else to think we're not together, he's still protective over me.  He has small ways of showing affection that are basically unnoticeable except to me.  We both understand and know what we have right now.  We've talked about it a lot.  He's there to listen when I'm there to tell and vice versa.  I feel really comfortable with him as well.  Sometimes we'll just sit there and talk for hours about nothing yet everything.  But enough about that.

Right now life is at a downslope and it fucking sucks.  I'm glad I barely know majority of my friends here because if they knew me and saw me the hallways today they probably would have hated me when I snapped off their heads.  I almost gave Frank shit[like usual] today when he passed me in the hallway and said Hi really obnoxiously loud.  I had my headphones on so I guess he might of said it when I passed him a few seconds before that.  I don't know.  But he walked off fast enough for me not react.  Which I was actually somewhat thankful for because if I started screaming at him I probably would have said things I didn't mean to.  It annoys the hell out of me that he did that though.  He could have been a little less rude.  I did give this girl shit though in my Photo class for being a moron.  I was crocheting in class and she walked up and was like, "OH!  I love to knit!  I used to do it all the time!  What are you knitting????"  Okay, in case you didn't know.  Crocheting involves ONLY ONE hook needle.  Knitting involves two to a lot of straight pointed needles and all the stitches are completely different.  I just looked up in no general direction and was like, "I'm crocheting." I said it with that nice bitchy snap, too.  She made herself look even worse though.  "What's the difference?"

I should probably tell Mateyunas I'm sorry tomorrow.  He's my photo teacher.  I snapped at him pretty bad too and he didn't deserve it.  So, I'll make it up by fixing up on my prints that he really likes.  He just walked over and I looked at him and said, "Mateyunas, I'm having a really shit ass day.  I'm not fucking doing a thing so just turn around and walk away."  Yes, the cuss words were involved.  But it might have not been those exact sentences that I used.  But close enough.  He just calmly walked up and asked for one of my matted prints for the art show.  I was nice to him for the rest of the day.  In my usual ways I tell him jokingly that he's gross and gay.  But I didn't do that at all today.  I think that's probably how he could tell to leave me alone.  That and the way I snapped at the girl.

Oh, and I've decided I'm going to write something completely about my beautiful Mattykins.  Something I'll sit there and work on over and over again for a few days to show that he's really worth more time and words then a simple crush.  But I don't bat my lashes for the record.  Or sigh all dreamy like for that matter either.